Connections & Catfishing

By TINA LI '27 

What if your significant other isn’t real? Imagine discovering that everything you knew about them was nothing more than a figment of your imagination. Manti Te’o, a football star at Notre Dame University, met his girlfriend Lennay Kekua via Facebook. She attended Stanford University, and, at 22, passed from a car crash and leukemia the same day as Te’o’s grandmother. Newspapers headlined the tragedy of a talented football player continuing to play his game after hearing of their deaths. However, Te’o’s life flipped sideways once reporters investigated the life of Lennay Kekua, his girlfriend. No record of her existed other than fake photos and profiles on social media. No birth certificate or proof of her attendance at Stanford. Lennay Kekua’s real name was Ronaiah ‘Naya’ Tuiasosopo. Manti Te’o had been catfished—lured into a relationship with someone who didn’t exist.

Why do we fall for catfishers? Catfishing is the process of luring someone into a relationship by a fictional online persona. The anonymity of the internet can create a false sense of safety, putting users in a vulnerable position. People often project their ideal versions of a significant other online, where face-to-face interactions are not required, making it easier to believe in someone who doesn’t exist. Not only that, but it’s human nature to seek out and crave personal connections, relationships, and validation; these desires can blind us to red flags that otherwise seem obvious. As the relationship deepens, the victim may ignore warning signs, allowing the catfisher to manipulate them more easily. 

People catfish for a multitude of reasons. In the case of Naya Tuiasosopo, she created a fake persona to explore her gender identity, adopting a female role to experience a life she felt she couldn’t otherwise live. Others may do it purely out of boredom, such as teenagers pranking their friends, while some have malicious reasons, like financially exploiting or preying on young children. Factors like poor self-esteem, escapism, and mental health issues can also play a role in the motivations behind catfishing.

In 2024, nearly everyone uses social media, whether it is to comment on Instagram posts, watch TikToks, or consume endless streams of content. Finding connections and relationships online is now more normalized than ever, putting us at even higher risk of these situations. Technology has advanced significantly since the web was created, and the creation of AI has made it possible for anyone to fake anything online. Catfishing promotes unrealistic relationships and false connections between people. 

Finding your perfect half may seem great until the illusion shatters. Discovering your partner is not the person you fell in love with can make someone question all of their connections outside of the relationship. Trust is fragile, and after that trust is broken to such an extent, it can develop into trust issues with personal and professional relationships beyond the online chat space. Not only that, but catfishing victims can fall into depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. After it was revealed to the public that Manti Te’o was catfished, backlash and scandals followed, even affecting his football career. However, he had support systems. His family, friends, and fans supported him throughout the devastating emotional impact of the situation, and could eventually move on with his life. It’s important to seek professional help if needed, but also to step back from the situation and give yourself room to breathe. 

False connections are devastating, leaving emotional scars that can take time to heal. For Manti Te’o, the discovery that his relationship was built on deceit not only shattered his trust but also challenged his identity and sense of reality. However, his story also highlights the importance of resilience. With the support of genuine relationships, self-reflection, and a commitment to personal growth, it's possible to move past even the deepest betrayals. Te’o’s journey serves as a reminder that while false connections can break us momentarily, the strength of real ones can help rebuild us. Healing is never easy, but it is possible with time, support, and perseverance.