Love Doc: BTS Season

BY JULIA KUANG  '22

Hello friends! I hope summer was a swell time… ripe with steamy summer flings and lovey-dovey drama! Unfortunately, school is back in business—but on the bright side, school is a catalyst for… LOVE <3. Bring on the new friendships, relationships, stress, and all the other juicy things that make school a strange combination of absolute misery and excitement. While in school, remember kids, hugs, not drugs! 

Q: Is it inappropriate to hug multiple significant others at once for longer than 30 minutes (standing) in public?
Nah boo, you do you. In fact, keep at it. It’s a bold, powerful statement. Don’t be afraid to declare your everlasting love to the world. Watch out though—if you hug for too long, your body might deteriorate, and you’ll collapse on top of your partners’ brittle skeletons.

Q: Is it weird to hug an anime body pillow while thinking they are my one true love 4eva?
I respect that, and I respect you. 2D characters are admittedly much more reliable and likeable than real people sometimes. Do what makes you happy. Live, laugh, love <3.

Q: How do you ask for hugs without making it seem awkward?
Trick question: just don’t ask for a hug. Ask for something obscenely out of proportion instead, like a bazillion bucks, immortality, your parent’s love (JK JK) or even… a date? That last one might be tough. It’s brutal out there.  After that, a teensy little hug is like nothing in comparison. 100% guarantee this will work, but if it doesn’t… well, that’s YOUR fault, not mine. I don’t condone bullying in any way whatsoever, but if that happens to you, you should probably step up your game.

Well, that concludes all of the questions I have energy to answer for now! Thanks for tuning in, and I’ll catch you next issue ;)

With lots of love, 
Dr. Kuang