Assimilation vs. Cultural Pride
BY MAYENLI COMFORT '23
Say you were in a foreign country and someone asked, “Where are you from?” Most people would reply, “America,” and that would be the end of the story. But for first and second-generation immigrant kids, it’s never that easy. We start to overthink, and it goes something a little like, “Umm… I was born in America, but my parents are from ___, so I’m kinda ____ but not really.” Fueled by an intrinsic need to belong, first and second-generation kids often face identity crises as they try to balance their family’s culture and mainstream American culture. This inability to define ourselves begins in childhood, where we struggle to be “normal,” and continues as we mature and cannot fully identify with either culture.
The U.S Census Bureau describes first-generation immigrants as the people living in America but born overseas, and the second-generation as the people with at least one foreign-born parent. Both first and second-generation immigrants often juggle dueling cultures as they grow, and it is especially difficult for children. Childhood is a time when most kids simply want to belong. Nobody wants to eat alone or play alone or be left out in any way; everyone wants to fit in. But fitting in is more difficult for those with a different cultural or religious identity than their peers. First and second-generation immigrant kids are more likely to feel left out because of their distinct home environments. Because children are already very impressionable—they don’t have a solid understanding of who they are—they start to change themselves to blend in with the norm.
The conflict between cultures follows kids through elementary school to middle and high school; we all reach a point where we begin to align more with one culture. Some of us gravitate towards our parents’ original lifestyle, while others head towards mainstream American culture. Either way, redefining ourselves to belong to either culture is not as simple as making a conscious decision.
Some work towards embracing their foreign culture but, in the process, realize the impact of inevitable assimilation into American culture. About 90% of immigrants are fluent in English, while only about 30% carry fluency of their native language into adulthood. Much of this can be attributed to living in an Anglophone environment, but it can also be traced to the subconscious decisions a child makes to align more with popular culture.
Of course, this doesn’t apply to all kids. There are quite a few who have a strong sense of belonging to a bicultural community and have unwavering pride in their identity. Still, a large portion of bicultural kids eventually succumb to the self-inflicted pressure of assimilation. Being explicitly called “weird” is rare; it’s the subtle comments on your hair, jokes about your name, and weird looks at your lunch that impose shame. These remarks embarrass a bicultural kid, who might ultimately strive to assimilate into the mainstream.
Personally, as someone who immigrated to the US as a child, I felt very self-conscious of my thick West African accent. To my eleven-year-old self, my accent indicated that I did not belong, that I was an outsider. So I made the conscious and difficult decision to change how I spoke. I would spend almost an hour or two a day practicing my American accent, and I started speaking like that to my mother, which she hated. I straightened my hair and tried to have a wardrobe identical to the other girls’. Acting and looking like everybody else seemed like the only way to live the true American experience. After all, there were no Disney shows or sitcoms about girls like me.
The question of what culture you align with more, or whether you align with both or neither, rests entirely on the individual. The pressure to fit in and be accepted is inevitable, but it’s important to realize that we are more than how other people label us. Children especially must learn that they have authority over how others define them. Assimilation is often inevitable for immigrants, but we can still be proud of our other culture at the same time. Thus, we must create environments that allow children to be comfortable with expressing their own cultures and beliefs. In doing this, we can preserve the diversity of the immigrants who live among us, and who make the American culture and society so unique.
The U.S Census Bureau describes first-generation immigrants as the people living in America but born overseas, and the second-generation as the people with at least one foreign-born parent. Both first and second-generation immigrants often juggle dueling cultures as they grow, and it is especially difficult for children. Childhood is a time when most kids simply want to belong. Nobody wants to eat alone or play alone or be left out in any way; everyone wants to fit in. But fitting in is more difficult for those with a different cultural or religious identity than their peers. First and second-generation immigrant kids are more likely to feel left out because of their distinct home environments. Because children are already very impressionable—they don’t have a solid understanding of who they are—they start to change themselves to blend in with the norm.
The conflict between cultures follows kids through elementary school to middle and high school; we all reach a point where we begin to align more with one culture. Some of us gravitate towards our parents’ original lifestyle, while others head towards mainstream American culture. Either way, redefining ourselves to belong to either culture is not as simple as making a conscious decision.
Some work towards embracing their foreign culture but, in the process, realize the impact of inevitable assimilation into American culture. About 90% of immigrants are fluent in English, while only about 30% carry fluency of their native language into adulthood. Much of this can be attributed to living in an Anglophone environment, but it can also be traced to the subconscious decisions a child makes to align more with popular culture.
Of course, this doesn’t apply to all kids. There are quite a few who have a strong sense of belonging to a bicultural community and have unwavering pride in their identity. Still, a large portion of bicultural kids eventually succumb to the self-inflicted pressure of assimilation. Being explicitly called “weird” is rare; it’s the subtle comments on your hair, jokes about your name, and weird looks at your lunch that impose shame. These remarks embarrass a bicultural kid, who might ultimately strive to assimilate into the mainstream.
Personally, as someone who immigrated to the US as a child, I felt very self-conscious of my thick West African accent. To my eleven-year-old self, my accent indicated that I did not belong, that I was an outsider. So I made the conscious and difficult decision to change how I spoke. I would spend almost an hour or two a day practicing my American accent, and I started speaking like that to my mother, which she hated. I straightened my hair and tried to have a wardrobe identical to the other girls’. Acting and looking like everybody else seemed like the only way to live the true American experience. After all, there were no Disney shows or sitcoms about girls like me.
The question of what culture you align with more, or whether you align with both or neither, rests entirely on the individual. The pressure to fit in and be accepted is inevitable, but it’s important to realize that we are more than how other people label us. Children especially must learn that they have authority over how others define them. Assimilation is often inevitable for immigrants, but we can still be proud of our other culture at the same time. Thus, we must create environments that allow children to be comfortable with expressing their own cultures and beliefs. In doing this, we can preserve the diversity of the immigrants who live among us, and who make the American culture and society so unique.
