Love Doc: A Senior's Last Hurrah
BY JULIA KUANG '22
Ah. Aah. Aaaaaah. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. The time has come…the time has finally come for me to say goodbye to the beLOVEd, incredibly well-written Love Doctor column at the Acton-Boxborough Regional High School’s prestigious The Spectrum newspaper club. The complex emotions I’m feeling right now are hard to verbalize, but I’m dedicating this article as a love letter to this column. Yep, you heard it here folks— this is a HEARTfelt love letter to you all from the love doctor. Think of it as my final stand. I’m retiring.
First off, I’d love to give a HEART-y shoutout to my dear, dear successor Dr. Alicia. She’s way too overqualified for this job and you all will be in a pair of very LOVEly hands. She graduated from HEARTvard so you know she’s legit. Dr. Alicia, I sense the coming of a new era of Love Doc, filled with joy and delight. It’ll bring forth world peace. But for realsies, thank you so much. I have high hopes and good faith you’ll astound the world with your wonderful love expertise.
To my last three years as Love Doc and you lovely, lovely readers (yes, all two of you!): thank you for sticking around. It’s been good. There have been days (even for someone as perfect as me, who knew?) that I’ve reflected and regretted getting a doctorate in loveology. Will I ever be able to pay back half a million in student loans? Probably not, considering the pennies that this column never paid me. But at least I had fun with it, haha! And most importantly, I had a lot of fun giving advice to you all. I’ll be sad to see this part of my life move on.
But alas, there are bigger and better things out there for me! I’m getting another degree today, hopefully. While I may have somehow regressed back to being a high school senior, I will genuinely look back at my Love Doctor years with fond memories. Now, I have one last confession I’ve been holding in for all these years: I actually write these high— high on life!!!!!!!!!!!!! Substance abuse is an absolute no-no and don’t you EVER forget that. And with that…congrats to the class of 2022 (and me, duh)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!