"Wrong Answers Only"
BY HARINI GANAPATHI '22
“Wrong Answers Only”: what is it? To all of you uncultured snoozers out there, it’s a classic meme. You will somehow be presented with a question, prompting you to reply with the “perfect” answer.
HOWEVER, there is a twist! Alas, my love, this is the twenty-first century, and the meme masters of Planet Earth have realized that the correct answer is, simply put, lame and boring. Instead, these acclaimed geniuses sought to find a way to spice up life—so they did. By now, you probably get what I’m hinting at, but I find that examples often help teaching.
For example, if I were to hand you a picture of an apple and ask you to name the magnificent, scarlet object featured, I would then expect you to tell me that the marvelous, delicious object is an apple. BUT in this case, the only wrong answer is, “Apple, bruh.”
Similarly, if I were to ask you a simple question, based on the question, your answer can either be completely wrong or just a little… unconventional.
HOWEVER, there is a twist! Alas, my love, this is the twenty-first century, and the meme masters of Planet Earth have realized that the correct answer is, simply put, lame and boring. Instead, these acclaimed geniuses sought to find a way to spice up life—so they did. By now, you probably get what I’m hinting at, but I find that examples often help teaching.
For example, if I were to hand you a picture of an apple and ask you to name the magnificent, scarlet object featured, I would then expect you to tell me that the marvelous, delicious object is an apple. BUT in this case, the only wrong answer is, “Apple, bruh.”
Similarly, if I were to ask you a simple question, based on the question, your answer can either be completely wrong or just a little… unconventional.
Q: Who will win the 2020 presidential election?
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Q: What’s your favorite part of social distancing?
Picture: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Picture: A clown riding a pencil
Picture: Lemonade (the yellow, basic kind)
Picture: Romeo and Juliet, collapsed on a floor, dead
Picture: Pikachu lying on the ground, lazily
- Miley Cyrus
- Kanye West
- Charli D’Amelio
- Bob Ross
- Your mom (I’m sorry)
- Yandere-chan
- Hatsune Miku
- Spongebob
- Eminem
- Mr. Dempsey
- You
- Joe Goldberg
- Jerry Yang
- Gregor Mendel
- Bill Nye the Science Guy
- Peppa Pig
- Pewdiepie
- Stephen King
- Avogadro
- Benjamin Franklin
- Hunger Games
- Time to eat bacon
- Galapagos Islands
- Modern family
- Mama Mia Figaro!
- Tarzan
- Furries
- Winnie should poo
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
- It went to school
- It missed its mommy
- It was lost in the Promised Neverland
- It was secretly human
- To meet Ronald McDonald
- It had to pee
- It was scared of cars
- It liked to play Crossy Road
- It wanted to eat ham
- It saw a robin
- It was going to murder a farmer
- To eat McNuggets
Q: What’s your favorite part of social distancing?
- Being bored
- Crying
- Not sleeping
- Working
- Forgetting how to do… everything
- Not remembering my name
- Questioning life
- Not seeing friends
- Giving virtual high-fives
- Being lonely
- Being lazy and not knowing how to fix it
- Burning a textbook and realizing I’ll need it later
Picture: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
- Strong Girl Bong-Soon
- Troy Bolton
- Pizza Hut
- New York
- Your mom (I had to bring it back)
- An alien
- Jimmy Neutron
- Chase Hudson
- Tea master
- Roger Chillingworth
- Kevin
- A bush
- Odysseus!
- Shark Boy
Picture: A clown riding a pencil
- Me in the future
- A depressed rainbow
- My calculator
- Dora with Boots
- The creepy man that stole my hat in Toys“R”Us
- Your aspirations
- The apple I’m eating right now
- Miranda Sings
- Edward Scissorhands
- Walmart commercial guy
- James Charles
Picture: Lemonade (the yellow, basic kind)
- Teeth
- Pee (the most obvious one, ugh)
- My tears
- The mouthwash that secretly burns your mouth off because it is SO ACIDIC
- A water bed
- A Shadow Monster
- A molten Frisbee
- My brain
- A deceased unicorn
- A Nintendo Switch after your mom confiscates it as punishment for playing Animal Crossing for hours on end
- Gum wrappers in the future
- Advice from a butterfly
Picture: Romeo and Juliet, collapsed on a floor, dead
- Party time
- The day before a test
- Fruit punch
- Fireboy and watergirl melting in the Crystal Temple
- Phineas and Ferb
- Snow White and the Evil Queen
- Peppa Pig and George
- Prom
- Keeping Up with the Kardashians: Season 100
- Drink some Fanta now!
Picture: Pikachu lying on the ground, lazily
- Me after quarantine
- An old cotton ball
- Those “fuzzy worms found outside in spring”
- Ash’s legacy
- A mutated cat
- A fuzzy mango
- The doll that watches you sleep
- A personification of evil
- Heinz Doofenshmirtz’s experiment
- Bird poop
- Your eye in April
- A ping pong ball that squirts juice randomly
- Justin Bieber’s “yummy” apples
- My soul
- Earth
- When you pretend to be sad, but you’re secretly happy
- A tropical papaya
- Slimy bananas grown in blue pen ink