Indoor Plant Review
BY N. RAZBAN '23
Do you need some encourage-mint to get through these tough thymes? Become a plant parent, my friend! A plant will always root for you and provide good chives for your space. Now that I have gotten those puns out of my system, let's talk about why you should trust my plant opinions. My living room is turning into a jungle at an alarmingly rapid pace: there are TWENTY-THREE plants here, and more are being added as I write (my cactus’s child is ready to leave the pot… they grow up so fast). So, are you ready to turn your house into a botanical wonderland? The correct answer is yes!
Orchid
The orchid is the queen bee of the indoor plant world. She is beautiful and majestic, and she adds a sense of luxury to a room. Despite her hard-to-get act, she’s actually really easy to care for! She only requires a bath around once a month—place her in the sink, drip a bit of water over her, and then let that water drain from the bottom of the pot. She also needs direct sunlight for most of the day, because “the spotlight calls her, daaahling.” 10/10 would recommend! Perfect for larger living areas, such as the living room or an entryway near a window.
Succulents
The classic indoor plant, and for good reason! They are super easy to care for, don't require too much water, and are not at all finicky about their sun exposure. The best part of owning a succulent is that you can find a variety that fits your needs perfectly! Here are my favorites, and believe me, it was very difficult to narrow it down. Number 1: the “hen and chicks.” These are the ones you think of when I say the word “succulent.” I love that they produce little baby plants pretty quickly, so you'll have a room full in no time! Number 2 is the Portulaca. This plant produces colorful flowers from late June to the first frost. They also grow like vines, which means you can have a beautiful arrangement of pots overflowing with little flowers all over your room. My third and final recommendation is the sedum rupestre. These little bois are amazing because they can grow as large or stay as small as you need them to. They can cover your entire yard, or just chill in a pot! They do love the sun, but don't require too much water. Any one of these succulents will allow you to live your artsy apartment dreams!
Cactuses, cactus, cacti
All cacti are succulents, but not all succulents are cacti! You just gained three braincells for free, congratulations! Why should you get cacti? Well, first and foremost, they have a cool plural form, just like octopi. They are also even easier to care for than the succulents mentioned above. Let's dive into my favorites. My absolute fave is the thimble cactus. Not only is it so soooo cute, but it’s also virtually unkillable. Story time! I left my thimble cactus in my dark bathroom unwatered for three months during summer vacation, and it was fine. Immortal AND cute? Um… yes please! This next one is also pretty adorable—it’s the peanut cactus. It has that classic cactus shape, and the most colorful little flowers. It can also grow babies suuuper quickly, so it’s definitely more of a commitment. Finally, we have the red thorn cactus. It’s very scary looking and is honestly a great tool for self defense. It also tends to grow as one chungus rather than a bunch of little guys like the other cacti above. It looks very cool though, and it’s one of the few varieties whose thorns are an actual color, rather than just black or white.
Where to buy them?
I purposely chose plants that are suuuper easy to find around here. My first recommendation is to go plant shopping at Trader Joe’s! Yep, our boi Joe has some pretty sweet deals and a large variety of plants. If you want some less common plants though, I would recommend going to a plant shop, called a nursery. There, you'll find some very eager plant parents who will tell you all about which plant is best, how to water them, and maybe even compliment your plants.
Well folks, there you have it, your (not at all biased) guide to houseplants. I hope I have helped you gain a friend. Or two, or ten….or twenty-three (it's not a problem! I swear!).
Orchid
The orchid is the queen bee of the indoor plant world. She is beautiful and majestic, and she adds a sense of luxury to a room. Despite her hard-to-get act, she’s actually really easy to care for! She only requires a bath around once a month—place her in the sink, drip a bit of water over her, and then let that water drain from the bottom of the pot. She also needs direct sunlight for most of the day, because “the spotlight calls her, daaahling.” 10/10 would recommend! Perfect for larger living areas, such as the living room or an entryway near a window.
Succulents
The classic indoor plant, and for good reason! They are super easy to care for, don't require too much water, and are not at all finicky about their sun exposure. The best part of owning a succulent is that you can find a variety that fits your needs perfectly! Here are my favorites, and believe me, it was very difficult to narrow it down. Number 1: the “hen and chicks.” These are the ones you think of when I say the word “succulent.” I love that they produce little baby plants pretty quickly, so you'll have a room full in no time! Number 2 is the Portulaca. This plant produces colorful flowers from late June to the first frost. They also grow like vines, which means you can have a beautiful arrangement of pots overflowing with little flowers all over your room. My third and final recommendation is the sedum rupestre. These little bois are amazing because they can grow as large or stay as small as you need them to. They can cover your entire yard, or just chill in a pot! They do love the sun, but don't require too much water. Any one of these succulents will allow you to live your artsy apartment dreams!
Cactuses, cactus, cacti
All cacti are succulents, but not all succulents are cacti! You just gained three braincells for free, congratulations! Why should you get cacti? Well, first and foremost, they have a cool plural form, just like octopi. They are also even easier to care for than the succulents mentioned above. Let's dive into my favorites. My absolute fave is the thimble cactus. Not only is it so soooo cute, but it’s also virtually unkillable. Story time! I left my thimble cactus in my dark bathroom unwatered for three months during summer vacation, and it was fine. Immortal AND cute? Um… yes please! This next one is also pretty adorable—it’s the peanut cactus. It has that classic cactus shape, and the most colorful little flowers. It can also grow babies suuuper quickly, so it’s definitely more of a commitment. Finally, we have the red thorn cactus. It’s very scary looking and is honestly a great tool for self defense. It also tends to grow as one chungus rather than a bunch of little guys like the other cacti above. It looks very cool though, and it’s one of the few varieties whose thorns are an actual color, rather than just black or white.
Where to buy them?
I purposely chose plants that are suuuper easy to find around here. My first recommendation is to go plant shopping at Trader Joe’s! Yep, our boi Joe has some pretty sweet deals and a large variety of plants. If you want some less common plants though, I would recommend going to a plant shop, called a nursery. There, you'll find some very eager plant parents who will tell you all about which plant is best, how to water them, and maybe even compliment your plants.
Well folks, there you have it, your (not at all biased) guide to houseplants. I hope I have helped you gain a friend. Or two, or ten….or twenty-three (it's not a problem! I swear!).
